My personal blog on my life as a married mum of 2 girls, battling Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. Sometimes it will make you laugh, sometimes it will make you cry, but I will always be honest try to share information learning
Thinking thoughts of terror Usually underlying insecurities Constantly changing choices Harmful hasty hazards Watching, waiting, worrying Feeling forever judged Fearing, forgetting frequently Lost, lonely, laid awake She slips silently away, straining Eternal exhaustion eats away Broken bluntly at the bottom Potentially poisonous plans Recurring reactions & responses Daunting dangers of the day ahead Impressions of… Continue reading Just thinking
This piece of paper was what I was given as I left the psychiatrists appointment room that day in January this year, feeling deflated, suicidal, defeated, crushed & unable to pick myself up. I felt my life was over. When I finally went back to my GP 3 years ago I knew my mental health… Continue reading Becoming a chameleon
This is my 6 years ago, fun loving & free. I'm aiming to get back on a swing this year! Having had anxiety for a while, alongside the borderline personality disorder, I had made assumptions as to what my triggers must be. Things I thought were triggers: Large crowds New people New places Social media… Continue reading Learning that my “Triggers” aren’t what I thought they were
Today I count my blessings. I know it's been very negative from me lately, & I apologise for that, I'm still not out the other side but getting there. I'm feeling fortunate for so many things My daughters My husband My sisters These really do hold me together when the glue starts to crack! My… Continue reading Fortunate me!
The scariest thing about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), is how quickly it can change, in days, hours or even minutes. I can and do spot trends. After a build up of extreme highs, comes the lows. Often the higher the high, the lower the low and I'm told regularly that until I receive the tools… Continue reading From my toes to my nose – the highs and lows of BPD
I can't get bereavement counselling because my mental health illness is too severe I can't have CBT because my mental health illness is too severe I can't go on sertraline, my mental health illness is too severe I need to have time off work because my mental health illness is too severe I need to… Continue reading Too severe or not severe enough – my mental health illness
Recently I wasn't shortlisted for an award, that I didn't even expect to be nominated for. It left me wondering if other people with Borderline Personality Disorder and anxiety avoided opportunities due to their fear of rejection, particularly in the employment sector. On Facebook & Twitter I appealed for volunteers to answer a survey. I'm… Continue reading The heartbreak of trying & failing – why mental health prevents us from having the job we want
