anxiety, Bereavement, blogging, blogging tips, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, illness, mental health, mind, parenting, Personality Disorder, published, Uncategorized, writer

Cloudy head syndrome

Last night I began to feel tired. I could feel the anxiety building and switched my phone off for a few hours. I went to bed with my cloudy head wondering how I could clear it. I woke up this morning feeling like I hadn't slept at all. I had. I'd slept all night but… Continue reading Cloudy head syndrome

anxiety, beauty, blogging, blogging tips, Borderline Personality Disorder, cancer, Depression, drama, fundraising, illness, jobs, mental health, mind, parenting, Personality Disorder, published, recruitment, travel, Uncategorized, writer

Reviewing my October Goals

So as we're halfway through October, I thought I would review the goals I set myself in my blog a few weeks ago here. The most important goal was to start leaving the house at least 4 times a week. By week 3 in October and I've only stayed in the house 1 day each… Continue reading Reviewing my October Goals

anxiety, blogging, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, illness, jobs, mental health, mind, parenting, Personality Disorder, Uncategorized, writer

The thing with a bad day… it can get better too!

A bad day used to turn my week into a wreck, like a train spiralling off track. I hated the feeling of letting someone down, especially those I cared about and respected and would push and push until eventually I crashed. I'd agree to more and more things, believing I could do everything and always… Continue reading The thing with a bad day… it can get better too!

anxiety, beauty, Bereavement, blogging, blogging tips, Borderline Personality Disorder, cancer, Depression, drama, fundraising, illness, jobs, mental health, mind, parenting, Personality Disorder, poetry, published, recruitment, self harm, skydive, travel, Uncategorized, writer

October Mini goals

This weekend I did a lot of looking back, always focusing on the failures, the things I did wrong, the mistakes I made & I had to stop myself, because I actually got some things right. I need to learn to focus more on these & appreciate them, rather than focus on the negative. So… Continue reading October Mini goals

anxiety, Bereavement, blogging, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, illness, jobs, mental health, mind, parenting, Personality Disorder, Uncategorized, writer

A hard pill to swallow!

This week I had my quarterly session with my psychiatrist & together we made some big decisions. I can't say it's been an easy few weeks, accepting the condition & realising at this moment I can't just be "normal". People have gone out of their way to help & support me, but when I fail,… Continue reading A hard pill to swallow!

anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, illness, mental health, mind, Personality Disorder, poetry, published, Uncategorized, writer

Just thinking

Thinking thoughts of terror Usually underlying insecurities Constantly changing choices Harmful hasty hazards Watching, waiting, worrying Feeling forever judged Fearing, forgetting frequently Lost, lonely, laid awake She slips silently away, straining Eternal exhaustion eats away Broken bluntly at the bottom Potentially poisonous plans Recurring reactions & responses Daunting dangers of the day ahead Impressions of… Continue reading Just thinking

anxiety, blogging, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, illness, mental health, mind, parenting, Personality Disorder, Uncategorized

Becoming a chameleon

This piece of paper was what I was given as I left the psychiatrists appointment room that day in January this year, feeling deflated, suicidal, defeated, crushed & unable to pick myself up. I felt my life was over. When I finally went back to my GP 3 years ago I knew my mental health… Continue reading Becoming a chameleon