The scariest thing about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), is how quickly it can change, in days, hours or even minutes. I can and do spot trends. After a build up of extreme highs, comes the lows. Often the higher the high, the lower the low and I'm told regularly that until I receive the tools… Continue reading From my toes to my nose – the highs and lows of BPD
After 10 weeks my eardrum should have healed, but has it? No! It did seem to be getting better, but somehow over the last couple of weeks it's become infected again & now it feels like the whole process is starting again, and my anxiety just makes that worse. I put off going back to… Continue reading Should my physical or mental health come first?
When we suffer from all kinds of mental health problems, it can change us, often into people we don't want to be. What I also need to say at this point is that right now I'm in a great place, so if you're reading it, please don't think I'm wandering down the dark staircase, it's… Continue reading I don’t always know how to behave – that’s what a personality disorder is, but I promise I’m trying!
Some days, like yesterday & today, the only safe place for me to be as at home. It can be in bed or on the sofa, but leaving the front door is just too much. I can sort the kids, pack up their lunch, arrange their money for trips, work from home, but stepping out… Continue reading Crippling anxiety
So today I've blogged a lot, but today is the 5th time in 9 weeks that my medication hasn't been ready, or lost or forgotten. And tonight I needed it. I've had problems remembering to take them, to order them, to recall the dosage amounts & then remember later if I've took them or not.… Continue reading Medication when the Scripts aren’t there
Some days, today is one of them, and all I can hear is conflicting noises. I don't mean voices, I'm fortunate that so far I've never heard voices, except mine own inner critics, of which there are often many, too many. But I mean I hear every noise like some superhero with a power I… Continue reading Noise when you need quiet, it’s an anxious day for no reason
Today felt scary, I've built up to the fact that I could no longer handle full-time hours & that I was dropping to 20 hours per week. Due to my job this meant a change of role. But I got up this morning, waved the kids off to school & headed to work for my… Continue reading New role: new hours