Tomorrow will be the last of my 7 weeks of group DBT, Dialectal Behavioural Therapy. Unfortunately I've been ill for 3 of them but have managed to catch up with help from my new nurse. During that time I have also been told my psychiatrist has left. So since Christmas I have lost my CPN… Continue reading My final DBT
I made it, I can't tell you yet that I enjoyed it or that I got anything out of it, but I did it. I came home actually feeling less positive and more helpless. I spent the whole group trying to answer questions in the right way, because it's a group. I don't want to… Continue reading Group therapy: week 1
Tomorrow I start a year long journey which I have already waited a year to begin and however well I'm handling my anxiety at the moment, I cant help it, I'm scared. Scared for so many reasons, I can hardly count them. WHY DBT?So what is DBT & why is it so important for those… Continue reading It’s D day tomorrow, D for DBT!
I sat gently tapping my foot on the floor as I tried to keep my eyes open after a disturbed night, the door knocked and I skipped a heart beat My night had been disturbed, not just through worry or a snoring husband, but the fact my HRT is still not quite working and the… Continue reading And breathe… my new nurse was lovely
I'm fortunate that my low days are fewer at the moment, but that doesn't mean I don't have them. When I do I really go low. How low can you go? Low. So low. When my husband went back to work yesterday, reality hit. You see I love being at home when he's here. I… Continue reading Low days… how low can you go?
In my support group last week, we talked about the attachment issues. As someone with borderline personality disorder I would acknowledge this has always been an issue, but it's only when you focus on it you can see the pattern. I do however have a massive issue with rejection, an irrational fear of losing people,… Continue reading I can’t believe I’m losing someone else
Sorry if I've let you down today, recently, or ever, there's lots of you I'm sure, but please know it wasn't intentional. Sometimes it's easier to write to everyone rather than to tell one individual how I'm feeling. I didn't want to go out last week. One day I had 4 places I needed/ wanted… Continue reading I’m sorry if I let you down today, this week, ever!
Last night I began to feel tired. I could feel the anxiety building and switched my phone off for a few hours. I went to bed with my cloudy head wondering how I could clear it. I woke up this morning feeling like I hadn't slept at all. I had. I'd slept all night but… Continue reading Cloudy head syndrome
This weekend I did a lot of looking back, always focusing on the failures, the things I did wrong, the mistakes I made & I had to stop myself, because I actually got some things right. I need to learn to focus more on these & appreciate them, rather than focus on the negative. So… Continue reading October Mini goals
This week I had my quarterly session with my psychiatrist & together we made some big decisions. I can't say it's been an easy few weeks, accepting the condition & realising at this moment I can't just be "normal". People have gone out of their way to help & support me, but when I fail,… Continue reading A hard pill to swallow!