mental health

“I’m proud of you”

Is it just me or are there still people out there yearning for this? I never felt like the one who made people proud. I’ve always come with trouble, baggage and problems. I’ve always been a bit of a black sheep, but I’m not a bad person, I’m just needy.

Since the day I was born I have yearned to hear those words, “I’m proud of you”. They are words to me the feel of more value than often the words most wish to hear, I love you. Love is often something people feel they have to do, and therefore, have to say. I was told and am told I love you, far more often than I could imagine. I’m not complaining, it’s a wonderful thing to hear, but I often, maybe wrongly, hear it full of pity. I love you… “even though”, I love you … “because of”, I love you, “due to the fact I have to”.

Proud to me symbolises that I have got something right. Whether I achieved something, or someone favoured one of my actions. I produced something that was well received, I did something against the odds. It’s quite selfish when I think about it. It’s ultimately inward looking and seeking out approval, but I’m honest about it. When someone says they are proud of me I get goosebumps. I feel acceptance and I often even feel pride within myself.

If someone does something that makes you feel happy or proud, tell them. That card to acknowledge that you appreciated them or that action, the text that says you felt what they achieved and liked it, the hug when you next see someone to say well done, you are enough. I’m not talking about achieving the world. I’m talking about those small steps,

“I’m proud of you for leaving the house today”

“I’m so pleased for you that you enjoyed that film”

“I’m so proud you got that new job”

“Congratulations for raising that money for charity”

“I’m in awe of how you think of others”

Those spots of recognition, those simple words can mean the world and you can make someone’s day

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