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My final DBT

Tomorrow will be the last of my 7 weeks of group DBT, Dialectal Behavioural Therapy. Unfortunately I’ve been ill for 3 of them but have managed to catch up with help from my new nurse.

During that time I have also been told my psychiatrist has left. So since Christmas I have lost my CPN and psychiatrist and having to start my relationships with care practitioners all over again. I can’t imagine how difficult that would have been had I have been in a lower or more manic mood. I have struggled, but I’ve coped.

In the middle I got a chest infection, with several GP visits and even a visit from the paramedics. It’s been a hard time physically being unwell too.

It’s been the most exhausting and difficult 6 weeks of my life. At times I’ve had to think about things that I just didn’t want to. I’ve had to look back into my past at events I had tried to hide for a reason. I’ve had to contemplate situations that I never wanted to think about again, but I’ve done it.

Tomorrow is not the end, it’s the end of this first part, before my second group therapy starts in a few weeks. I won’t miss it. It’s not something I have enjoyed, but there’s been foundations built to start my recovery. I made it and I’m still here.

My blogs and many other things in my life have suffered these last few weeks, but I’ve done my best with parenting, with study, with work, with friends. I could only ever do my best.

Tomorrow I look forward to the break, fortunately for me I get to spend next week in Barbados which I’m sure will help. I can refresh and recharge and prepare myself for the next stage.

I’m doing this for my girls, because they look up to me & I want to be worth looking up to.

Don’t ever thing you are not strong enough, not clever enough, not pretty enough. You are enough xx

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