anxiety, Bereavement, blogging, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, drama, illness, jobs, mental health, mind, parenting, Personality Disorder, published, self harm, Uncategorized, writer

Low days… how low can you go?

I’m fortunate that my low days are fewer at the moment, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have them. When I do I really go low. How low can you go? Low. So low.

When my husband went back to work yesterday, reality hit. You see I love being at home when he’s here. I feel safe. Whatever letter pops through the door, whoever phones, whatever I do, I don’t have to think really. I’ll tell him and he’ll help me make the best decision. Now don’t get me wrong, I want to change this. I need to become more independent, more self assured and this will all be part of my therapy, but yesterday it wasnt there. I’ve not got those tools yet and I just fell apart.

I stayed in bed yesterday. A headache burst into a migraine, all onset by anxiety and a horrible attack of panic. I hate to say I was due one, but I was.

So today I’m recovering. Book in hand, pottering as some may say and realigning myself to what 2019 can bring.

We all have off days, they don’t have to become off weeks or months. Just forgive yourself, give yourself time and start again. It’s a marathon not a sprint xx

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