Bereavement, Borderline Personality Disorder, illness, mental health, mind, self harm, Uncategorized

Too severe or not severe enough – my mental health illness

I can’t get bereavement counselling because my mental health illness is too severe

I can’t have CBT because my mental health illness is too severe

I can’t go on sertraline, my mental health illness is too severe

I need to have time off work because my mental health illness is too severe

I need to return to diazepam medication because my mental health illness is too severe

I can’t be seen by the crisis team, my mental health illness is not severe enough

I can’t be offered a different medication, like a mood stabiliser, because my mental health illness is not severe enough

I can’t be offered an emergency psychiatric / psychiatrist appointment, my mental health illness is not severe enough

I can’t be hospitalised, my mental health illness is not severe enough

I can’t be seen privately as I’ll be discharged from the NHS, so I must wait til I can have DBT (added to list January 2018, expected start January 2020)

So instead … I wait…

Feelings

  • Lost faith and trust
  • Rejected
  • Deflated
  • Desperate
  • Guilty
  • Lost
  • Confused
  • Unwell
  • Cloudy
  • Tired
  • Frustrated
  • Helpless
  • Fearful
  • Empty

4 thoughts on “Too severe or not severe enough – my mental health illness”

  1. This was so painful to read as I related so much to your agony. Why should your mental illness be measured against other people’s on a scale? It should be about meeting your needs. My GP told me last week ( when I was feeling suicidal) that he sees at least 5 people each week who are worse than me, you wouldn’t tell a patient with breast cancer that she’s not that bad because you have patients with incurable brain cancer. I’m finding mood stabilisers really helpful so maybe continue pushing to get a prescription for that. Just because you’re not jumping off buildings or thinking you’re Jesus doesn’t mean that your hell is any less.

    Like

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