blogging, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, parenting, published, Uncategorized, writer

What a weekend away feels like inside my head! But I did it & I will again!

This last 14 days has been pretty full on by anyone’s standards, but for me it’s been exhausting. Not only have I been trying so hard so keep up a positive front, but for the first time in a long time I’ve been here there & everywhere.

I knew it was going to be busy as my eldest daughter prepared to leave junior school & another academic year ended for both girls. There’s discos, plays, explorer days, open afternoons & so many other things. On top of that we are the middle of a wonderful heatwave, and although I’m a lover of sunshine, even I now am struggling a little in this heat especially in the night. It disturbs my sleep & when I’m not rested, I’m not as alert. Sunshine makes everything better. Humidity & heat makes my asthma, allergies & menopause symptoms worse.

So what do I choose to do in the midst of this? I choose a weekend away! In fact i didn’t choose it, it chose us. At Christmas last year we had a number of vouchers. An overnight stay with dinner & breakfast bought by my step-dad, I had bought Nigel a voucher for Gordon Ramsay restaurants & he had promised me a trip to a West End show.

The weekend was booked months ago when my step-dad had offered to take the girls to the caravan for the weekend. They were booked to have a wonderful weekend and as it drew closer, however much I thought of cancelling, even voicing this idea, I was kindly informed it was happening. The girls had an amazing time by the seaside & I really missed them.

Friday was wonderful, we drove down to Oxford, checked into our hotel, The Spread Eagle & into our lovely room. Our stay included a bottle of prosecco, 3 course dinner & breakfast. It was a fantastic stay & meal & the only problem for me was the heat as it was so warm in the room. But I would highly recommend it, it was a wonderful, relaxing stay with exquisite food & wonderful atmosphere in the heart of Thame. It was also the day I found out that the Huffington Post had published my first ever post, check it out here, I was so excited!

On Saturday morning I woke up bright & breezy & even filmed a little YouTube video, take a look here. But that would change as we headed into London itself. The traffic began to make me nervous & as we approached the centre I could feel the anxiety bubbling it’s way to the surface. Even when we got to our Travelodge I was already reeling off the excuses for why it would be better just to stay at the hotel, but I’m so glad I didn’t.

Having calmed down a little we made the tube journey to the Apollo theatre where we watched Wicked & it was incredible. Not just the show, which blew me away, but the story resonated so much with me, being the odd one out all along. I laughed, I cried & I felt everything someone should feel watching such a production, just maybe a little more intensely.

It wasn’t long before we headed to Bread Street Kitchen, a Gordon Ramsay restaurant I’d changed to at the last minute, hoping it might be quieter. The food was lovely, but for me it was quite busy & really loud. We spent our voucher & although it would probably have been lovely to have dessert & drinks, I knew for one day I had achieved enough & it was bed time. We headed back on the tube to the hotel & when we woke the next morning I was ready for home.

I had a lovely time, but was drained & spent the majority of Sunday sleeping with my comfort blanket. I think we may have “watched” a film or two. It was worth every minute, & I’d recommend it to anyone but a few tips:

1. You know yourself best! Don’t be afraid to push yourself, but also to know when it’s too much, it’s a hard balance & I’m still learning

2. Good things can & do happen & you can enjoy these times! I’m sometimes preparing for what must be the “bad thing” after something good – it doesn’t work like that

3. Allow yourself the time to recover. Just because someone else can do it all, doesn’t mean you have to or should, and a nap is ok

I’m fortunate that this weekend my dad is having our girls whilst I work & also attend the #MHAwards, which if you want to vote for me, you can here for Mental Health Blogger of the Year! It’s Sarah – Sarah’s Thinking Again. So on Friday I get to travel up with my sister & spend a day with her, my dad & his wife & all our kids. My sister has even offered to drive. I’m really looking forward to another busy weekend!

I did it!

Sarah x

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