On 28th June I asked my fab twitter followers for topics for my 100th blog & I had some lovely suggestions, but in the end I wanted to just look back at home far I’d come this year since my diagnosis in January this year.
When I was diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, even though I was told it might be coming, I had a breakdown. I left the psychiatrists with more questions than answers & headed home. The following day I headed into work & had a panic attack on the tram. I was due to be in Westminster with work for a meeting & had arranged to meet a colleague Tim at Sheffield Station. I was soon back at home in bed having never arrived & within a couple of days was signed off work for a month & my occasional diazepam use had gone up to 16mg per day. I really do believe I’d become addicted.
It was the day before I returned to work that I started blogging & haven’t looked back. From my very first blog My Personality Broke on 18th February this year, to the one I posted earlier today, Looking back over 25 years, I have spent the last 134 days sharing some of my lowest & highest points. I started it for me as therapy.
Blogging was firstly my best way of telling everyone I had been diagnosed & then it became my vent, my ideas, my thoughts, inspiring others, generating awareness & motivating others. I’m a talker, a big talker & having lost my mum & best friend, I found myself slowly isolating myself from others so that my circle grew smaller. But here I am. I’m still standing, having achieved so much.
It’s so frustrating that my treatment isn’t due to start until 2020. Sometimes I brush that off & keep busy, other times I feel like I just can’t wait that long & become very low.
For me, achieving 100 blogs was always going to be a biggy. In my first blog back in February this year I had no idea what might have to offer in the following 5 months.
Here are a few of my favourite blogs & hopefully I’ll continue to help myself & if ever even help one more person it will be worth it!
Here’s to exactly halfway through 2018, it’s the 1st July. And I’m proud to still be here! Sarah x
I don’t always know how to behave
sarahsthinkingagain 
Sounds like you’ve had a difficult time (possible understatement of the year), but I’m so glad you found blogging as a means to vent and channel your thoughts. I did the same when my husband was diagnosed with cancer and I’ve been doing it ever since.
I can’t say I’ve ever heard of your condition, so it’s a wonderful thing for you to write about and it and bring about awareness.
I’m sorry you’re having to wait so long for treatment, do you mind my asking why that is? It’s an awfully long time to wait and seems very unfair xx
Laura ☆ laurahasablog.co.uk
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Thanks so much Laura. I hope your husband is doing ok & sorry to hear he’s unwell. The NHS just don’t have the resource. CBT wasn’t suitable & I tried it twice but there’s so many waiting for DBT & not enough people trained xx
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That’s such a shame. Mental health is truly so under funded.
I remember when I was first diagnosed, they wanted me to see a councillor. But couldn’t get me in for 6 months and there was a huge waiting list for CBT too. It made me feel like they didn’t really care and I was so vulnerable and frustrated. Can’t imagine how you must be feeling.
He’s doing good, we in remission and making steady progress. Fingers crossed it stays that way! Xx
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Awww I hope he does stay well. It must be so tough. Yeah mental health is under funded but I think the whole healthcare system is, so if you add more money into mental health, any condition or illness in the NHS will suffer instead. It’s an awful situation x
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