On 28th June I asked my fab twitter followers for topics for my 100th blog & I had some lovely suggestions, but in the end I wanted to just look back at home far I’d come this year since my diagnosis in January this year.
When I was diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, even though I was told it might be coming, I had a breakdown. I left the psychiatrists with more questions than answers & headed home. The following day I headed into work & had a panic attack on the tram. I was due to be in Westminster with work for a meeting & had arranged to meet a colleague Tim at Sheffield Station. I was soon back at home in bed having never arrived & within a couple of days was signed off work for a month & my occasional diazepam use had gone up to 16mg per day. I really do believe I’d become addicted.
It was the day before I returned to work that I started blogging & haven’t looked back. From my very first blog My Personality Broke on 18th February this year, to the one I posted earlier today, Looking back over 25 years, I have spent the last 134 days sharing some of my lowest & highest points. I started it for me as therapy.
Blogging was firstly my best way of telling everyone I had been diagnosed & then it became my vent, my ideas, my thoughts, inspiring others, generating awareness & motivating others. I’m a talker, a big talker & having lost my mum & best friend, I found myself slowly isolating myself from others so that my circle grew smaller. But here I am. I’m still standing, having achieved so much.
It’s so frustrating that my treatment isn’t due to start until 2020. Sometimes I brush that off & keep busy, other times I feel like I just can’t wait that long & become very low.
For me, achieving 100 blogs was always going to be a biggy. In my first blog back in February this year I had no idea what might have to offer in the following 5 months.
Here are a few of my favourite blogs & hopefully I’ll continue to help myself & if ever even help one more person it will be worth it!
Here’s to exactly halfway through 2018, it’s the 1st July. And I’m proud to still be here! Sarah x