mental health

Music to my fears – my life playlist so far

I’ve always loved music, all music. I’m a cheesy pop fan at heart & anything where I can sing along & have an awkward mum dance them I’m all over it. I think music envokes memories & feelings. I’ll cry, laugh, dance and remember. Here are a few that have reasons for so many reasons

Firstly my mum. There are two songs which remind me of mum, firstly Ellie Goulding’s version of Your Song. It was played at her funeral. I still love it but can’t help but cry every time I hear her start, “It’s a little bit funny…”

Then theres Ed Sheehan’s there’s Supermarket Flowers, you may have read in my previous blog about how we lost my mum in just 6 short weeks, but this song, wow! Every word could have come from me. When I watched it I felt every word. I love him & I’m so lucky that I’m off to see him on 9th June with Alex, my bestie for her birthday. I just hope he sings it there too!

My newest addition to my song list is 2002. I met my husband on 10th May 2002 & married him on the 6th May 2006. So although we weren’t 11, the song means so much to me & I think she wrote it with Ed Sheeran & she’s also going to be supporting his tour & I love her too. I cannot wait. I always have from several years ago when her sister Sam was my daughters favourite entertainer at the holiday park Thornwick Bay where we used to own our own van. Anne-Marie was once there, I just spotted her talking to Sam, she was probably just chatting & it’s probably at least 4 years ago if not more. But the girls still say it’s Sams sister & love her songs too.

Then there’s songs about me Shawn Mendes, In My Blood. There are days I hear his song & it explains every feeling I have, my skin crawling, the anxiety, nothing being able to help, but I can’t give up.

Another song I love is the version of this True Colours from the Trolls film. I love the video & the voices of Justin Timberlake & Anna Kendrick. This has me in tears but also makes me feel like people might like the real me.

And then there is my new anthem. The song that makes me think I can do this & I am doing this This Is Me. I loved the song before I saw the film, which is also amazing. But I watched her on Graham Norton when Liz Williams shared it on twitter. I had goosebumps straight away and it gave me a feeling of being able to take on the world.

There’s then the songs that remind me of Kirsty, who I miss & love. The songs from her funeral which were beautiful, Songbird & Lovely Day. But I also think of Peaches & Cream & Bootylicious from our holiday to Kos when we were 18. And these were our party tunes!

Millie & Laila remind me of every song in the charts, good & bad. Even listening to the radio or watching tv they seem to know the lyrics to every song. But they love Little Mix & the favourite song is Black Magic

Music has such power to make you feel & remember. You may love some of these or have your own. Some make us sad & bring back memories that aren’t nice, I don’t listen to those. But those which help me remember good & sad times, especially fun times, these are part of my life playlist & I hope it continues to grow as I make more memories.

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