mental health

Family weekend so far

This is our 2nd year of attending the mixed martial arts weekend. Yesterday was busy, followed by a 4 hour drive to the coast of Great Yarmouth, Seashore Haven site. Once we arrived we loved our caravan & headed to meet friends at the on site pub

We had a great time catching up with friends we don’t see enough off, karaoke & few glasses of wine. The children played together & it was lovely. By the end of the night I was inspired to want to rejoin karate, & intend to next week… so watch this space.

This morning we woke & went to watch the girls begin their training. I just wanted to join in. Everything I watched looked so exciting, take-downs, punch combinations & pressure points. But I sat happily watching.

The girls were & are loving it. But here’s when the anxiety kicks in. For maybe half an hour or so I was on my own & the only voice is that inner critic who is becoming far too loud these days. It started slowly with

  • You’d never keep up
  • Your kit won’t fit anymore
  • You’re too fat now

But then it stopped being about me & it got louder

  • Have you upset someone?
  • Did they just look at you?
  • You can’t leave the kids?
  • You’re a bad mum that your kids want to play on the arcade & miss a training session
  • I’m so tired
  • Everyone’s looking at me
  • I look out of place & awkward

And then that’s it. I have to retreat. I head back to the caravan in the knowledge I can feel an anxiety attack approaching. I’d forgotten to take my medication with all the excitement this morning.

So hubby as always has saved the day. He’s fetched me a book & took the kids for a swim. I can now take a few minute/ hours to read/ sleep/ relax in preparation for the party celebrations tonight. So for me I am coping by taking myself out of situations to relax & selfcare.

I love that my kids are part of the Dragon’s Academy family & with a little break I’ll be ready to celebrate tonight !

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