This is our 2nd year of attending the mixed martial arts weekend. Yesterday was busy, followed by a 4 hour drive to the coast of Great Yarmouth, Seashore Haven site. Once we arrived we loved our caravan & headed to meet friends at the on site pub
We had a great time catching up with friends we don’t see enough off, karaoke & few glasses of wine. The children played together & it was lovely. By the end of the night I was inspired to want to rejoin karate, & intend to next week… so watch this space.
This morning we woke & went to watch the girls begin their training. I just wanted to join in. Everything I watched looked so exciting, take-downs, punch combinations & pressure points. But I sat happily watching.
The girls were & are loving it. But here’s when the anxiety kicks in. For maybe half an hour or so I was on my own & the only voice is that inner critic who is becoming far too loud these days. It started slowly with
- You’d never keep up
- Your kit won’t fit anymore
- You’re too fat now
But then it stopped being about me & it got louder
- Have you upset someone?
- Did they just look at you?
- You can’t leave the kids?
- You’re a bad mum that your kids want to play on the arcade & miss a training session
- I’m so tired
- Everyone’s looking at me
- I look out of place & awkward
And then that’s it. I have to retreat. I head back to the caravan in the knowledge I can feel an anxiety attack approaching. I’d forgotten to take my medication with all the excitement this morning.
So hubby as always has saved the day. He’s fetched me a book & took the kids for a swim. I can now take a few minute/ hours to read/ sleep/ relax in preparation for the party celebrations tonight. So for me I am coping by taking myself out of situations to relax & selfcare.
I love that my kids are part of the Dragon’s Academy family & with a little break I’ll be ready to celebrate tonight !