Today should have been a good day. I’ve got up & dressed. I’ve got the children up, dressed, fed & off to school.
- I’ve worked just over 5 hours from home & ticked off a lot of my To Do list
- I haven’t had a “nap”
- I picked Laila up from football for the first time
- I’ve ironed the uniforms did the rest of this week & next
- I’ve made tea, jacket potatoes & beans (not exactly Jamie Oliver, but hey they’ve eaten)
- I’ve done the packed lunches for tomorrow
- I hit 3000+ followers on twitter
- I’ve done the pots
- Helped the kids pack bags for their karate weekend
- I’ve read a chapter of my book
- I’ve listened to Laila reading
- I’ve washed & dried the pots & now settling down with a cup of tea and a boxset.
I’ve not overdone it, or done nothing. I good balance. And yet… I feel anxious, scared & not good enough. I feel tired, sad & down. My inner critic is full of:
- There’s still ironing to do
- You haven’t walked Oscar
- You have done the rest of the washing
- You should have eaten better
- You should have done some exercise
- Why are you anxious? You must have done something wrong!
- You haven’t hoovered today
- Why can’t you just be happy?
Some days this stuff doesn’t bother me, other days it eats away at me. Sometimes when I blog I just feel a release. A release from my head, emptying out my brain from its thoughts. It’s not a cure, but a distraction. I do it for me, but if someone else reads it & realises they aren’t alone, then I’m glad I’ve shared.
I’m taking notes from my daughter for tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a new day & I’m ready for it. Some days I feel like I can take on the world. Today just wasn’t one of those days. Tomorrow I will start fresh & do my best & try again. But tonight I’ll go to bed knowing my girls are both smiling, having had a good day, looking forward to an exciting karate celebration weekend! They are the bad ass karate kids & they’ll love it!