This morning I woke up after a bad nights sleep. I was still awake around 2am & overlaid waking just before 8am. This does not work well with my kids. They need time in a morning, so without even my usual cup of tea, breakfast or medication, I got them ready & dropped them at school just in time. I headed towards that tram & got into work before 10.
The most unusual part of this was me! Usually I would:
- Freak out
- Contact work & ask to work from Home
- Cry, a lot
- Eat rubbish all day
- Write the day off
But today I didn’t. Today I took some control. I can’t tell you why, but I did. Today I sent my husband my usual venting rant of a text about how I’m useless, no good, how I’m sorry he’s stuck with me & Im going to disappear. I followed that up with a text saying I was at work but extremely anxious & wanting to come home.
My lovely work colleagues soon let me know I was ok & I was fine. I began to put some of the processes in place that had been discussed in the previous week, had my breakfast, took my tablets & had 2 cups of tea.
Fast forward to home time & I spent my journey on the tram home, trying to hide the tears trying to escape from my eyes.
- I had been offered some great support & advice on a project at work I was worried about
- I had received a phone call from Azz at Sheffield Live to invite me in for an interview tomorrow to discuss my mental health condition
- I was also grateful & hiding tears of joy that my friends had nominated me for an award with the National Diversity Awards The nomination is for Positive Role Model within Disability (my Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder & Generalised Anxiety Disorder). If you want to vote for me (that would be amazing), you can here Vote for Sarah
So today when I was feeling low, I faked it til I made it again. I know this kind of day is a one off & that all low days won’t turn out so well, but HOPE is a wonderful thing. Today I learned that a bad start doesn’t have to be a bad day!
Thank you for reading, sharing & voting if you have. It means more than you will ever know