So Orlando… I’m doing it

Wow! I can’t quite explain for me how amazing it’s been so far. The kids, except the odd tired tantrum are loving it & so are we. So you can do it, it’s hard, you need to plan, be kind to yourself & take the support of others. But all the worries & fears & I’m living them.

I’ve overcome so of my biggest fears:

• Large crowds (& I mean large)
• Letting go of pretty much all planning control
• Queuing for hours
• Rollercoasters
• Small spaces
• Being away from home for so long
• And so many more

I can’t say it’s always been easy, I’ve had more than a few bad times, but I’ve dealt with them.

• We left a park earlier than planned as I was quite overwhelmed in the heat & the crowds. But the kids had been on lots of rides & then went to the hotel pool so I went to bed for a read & a sleep

• Universal I went on some of the rides in scared of (I’m building up to the big ones), but conquered the queues

• I’ve tried to not care what I look like. I’m bigger than I’ve ever been & I’ve gone out each day with no make-up just screen. I’ve worn swimsuits, vests & shorts & after the initial 2 minute freak out in the bathroom alone, I’ve ensured the kids have heard me talk about how happy I feel & comfortable, rather than maybe the way they’d usually hear me moan about my arms & looking fat. I want them to have a positive body image & know that happiness is most important.

Yesterday was incredible & so relaxing & calming for me. We spent the day at Discovery Cove. I’ll write a separate blog on this soon, but wow. I was so anxious free for a whole day. It’s like being at a beach

• We floated round the lazy river
• We snorkelled with fish & sting rays
• The girls did loads more with Dad while I laid on a sun lounger reading
• No queues
• It rained
• Oh yeah…. & then we swam with dolphins

You can do it. You can travel & see things & go places. Of course the medication is helping & being honest & Open helps so much. I have to say my husband has been amazing:

• Telling me to try things without pushing me
• Taking control of my meds
• Allowing me to sleep more & do less when I’m struggling
• And just the odd hug, arm rub or “I love you” has been so helpful
• I haven’t felt judged at all.

Anyway it’s 3am here & I just couldn’t sleep so I wanted to get something out! Thank you for all my new visitors & followers. See y’all soon

Ps… forgiving myself again for being a bad mum as the girls have no Easter eggs to wake up to! Happy Easter at home! Night x