Borderline Personality Disorder

Bad day

Couldn’t face leaving the house

My amazing boss, without pressure offers me a taxi

I arrive at work anxious & there’s people outside shouting & arguing & a police van

I lose my anxiety meds, only when I’m looking for them because I’m anxious

I get on the tram to be brave & have an anxiety attack

I get off and wait for my husband to fetch me

I have to wait so smoke many cigarettes

My GP rings to say they have lost my prescriptions & I can’t have my new meds tonight but have to call in the morning. I have appointments tomorrow which I don’t want to move.

I get home. I search my house. I find that I put my anxiety meds in a bag in the bin

I look for a fancy dress outfit I’ve promised to find someone who will collect tonight

I cry

I get in bed & sort some work receipts into piles as a distraction

I decide I need a bigger bag, as this will solve everything!

I put on a tv boxset, hold a cup of tea & begin to reply to the numerous messages checking I’m ok

Usually I feel better once I’m out. Today I felt worse. I’m so happy to be under my duvet in bed.

Today it still didn’t defeat me, just felt like it.

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