Blogging when your ill

The thing about blogging is for me, that when I’m in a good place, it’s easier. I can reflect on the bad day or week & laugh about it. I can also make plans for self care & wellness.

Under my safe place blanket last night

When your in the middle of an “episode” or a bad time, it’s so hard to write something uplifting, funny & that will help others. So you don’t write. It’s a bit like the photos we post on social media of the good times, we never post the wake up pre-make up photos, the messy house, & the fish fingers & beans tea we served up last night because we didn’t cook the beautiful meal we had the night before & posted it on every social media forum.

So today I’ll just write that we do all have bad days, days where you feel like the GP is writing you off & feels you should sit & rest & “recover” for the next goodness knows how long.

Days when you haven’t been out of the house for so long, it’s now an issue & you can’t seem to step outside the front door. Again. Even when you’ve been there, done that & overcome it. Your back there again! How on earth your going to take your kids on holiday to Disneyland (busiest place in the world) fills you with fear & dread rather than excitement.

Below last time they went

Days when you feel like letting your kids see you so low & sad is heartbreaking.

Days when you feel your letting others down, work, friends, family.

Days when you just want to disappear. Just for a bit. Just to switch off all the thinking & sleep.

But I do know these days will pass. I know it’s a bumpy ride. And some days, getting up, getting dressed & making sure your work is done, the kids are fed, clothed & loved & you try to sleep in between.

BDP is not easy. Not easy at all. If anyone does find that quick fix, like we look for with weight loss or fitness (by the way I’m looking for those also), please send it my way. I’m trying everything I can to be well & I want it so badly.