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Who is Mother’s Day for?

I know this sounds like a silly question. But who is it for? Mums or children? What are we celebrating?

For me 12 years ago it was about making sure I spoilt my mum with something thoughtful to thank her for all the many things she had done for me, (& would continue to do, even get a few extra brownie points for a spa treatment or something!)

Then we had our first daughter on 13th March 2007, so my first as a mother was on Sunday 18th March. The pressure changed to my husband. He had to get me something, my mum something & his mum something with a 5 day old baby and I had just been discharged from hospital.

In 2009 we got our 2nd little princess but just a few weeks later my husband lost his mum. Mother’s Day 2010 was hard. We were young parents of two young kids & he was grieving for his mum who we had lost unexpectedly. She had never expected anything except to see her that day. She wasn’t one for spoiling or presents, but loved to treat everyone else. Since having our first daughter, Mother & Father’s Day gifts had been easy. Calendars of baby photos or “best nanny” mugs & handprint pictures.

Mother’s Day 2015 was spent knowing we only had a few weeks left with my mum. I had no idea what to get her. I couldn’t. She wasn’t eating, she was bed ridden, so we just all visited with cards & smiles. It was the hardest year for me.

Now in 2018 Mother’s Day brings such a combination of feelings, love & memories of my mum & mother in law, the fact that we have 2 beautiful girls, who having already been making gifts, a thoughtful husband who wants me to feel special when I’m feeling at my lowest & booked a meal out. It’s sad & it’s happy. I will be strong for my girls tomorrow.

But most of all the days leading up to it I feel extremely anxious. The build up of being the “perfect mum” or not being in my case. That I let them down, that I’m not good enough.

I also cannot imagine the feelings & pain of those mourning a child on Mother’s Day. Whether they have other children or not, on that day they will think of the child that should be with them. They fight battles every day but on this day the strength they find or sometimes can’t find however hard they try, deserve our thoughts & love.

There are also those out there who want to be mothers & are currently unable to, for a variety of reasons. When we moan & whine about the messy rooms, the tantrums & not having a chance to go the bathroom alone, there are people out there who would give anything to be there.

So really Mother’s Day is for everyone, everyone had one, or missed out on one, wants to be one, lost one. It’s just as much a day for men as it is mum. But if yours is around, & you can, just tell them you love them. Sometimes that’s all that’s needed!

Mums everywhere, you are amazing. Thinking of you all this weekend X

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